More braindead software alert.

Last night I was at a friend’s house and we decided to order pizza from Domino’s. I very rarely order from them, so I can never remember which pizza it is I like – it’s either the “Hot and Spicy” or the “Tandoori Hot”, but I never know which. So, as we didn’t have a menu, I decided to look it up online.

The Dominos web site is one of the most dysfunctional sites I’ve come across in quite some time:

1. They don’t have a menu on-line.

I couldn’t believe this, and still can’t. I still think there must be something I’m just missing. But I just can’t find the menu. I can find out how many calories etc are in each type of pizza in their “Food Guide”, but nowhere actually tells me what toppings are on each pizza!

2. You can’t look at the list of products until you register

You can get a list of products in the on-line ordering section – but not until you give them your postcode, house number, name and phone number (each on a separate page). [Note, as I write this I can’t even get to this section as my nearest store is closed – even though you can schedule deliveries for later!]

3. You can’t see what you’re ordering

I was impressed that you can order a half-and-half pizza, each with a different set of toppings. I was much less impressed that once it goes in your ‘basket’ it appears solely as a half and half pizza and doesn’t show you your toppings. If you trust the site this sort of thing probably isn’t a problem, but when I don’t, I’m always worried that the order will just be placed like this and the store will have to ring me and ask what was on each half!

4. There’s no way to give special instructions

I don’t like onions on my pizza. I thought that the one I was ordering had onions – but wasn’t sure (see point 1!). I wanted to write in a little box somewhere: “Please don’t put onions on the Tandoori Hot side!”. But there was no such little box, and as far as I could see, no way at all to let them know this short of ringing the store after placing the order – which would pretty much defeat the point of online ordering

4b. There’s no way to give delivery instructions

Similarly there was no way to say something like, “When you deliver, don’t go the front door as we’re not in the house, but are sitting round the back in the garden”.

5. They don’t take credit cards

One of the things about ordering online is not having to worry about always having cash. Not in Domino’s case. You can say that you’ll pay the delivery guy. Or you can pay by debit card. But not credit card. Even though the store takes credit cards if you walk in or phone them.

6. The store ignores your order

One hour later, and considerably hungrier, I rang the store to say “our pizza hasn’t arrived yet”. They took my details and said they couldn’t see the order and was I sure I didn’t order it from another store. When I explained I ordered on line she went silent for a moment and then said “Oh yes, there it is. No one saw that!” Then there was some muffled mumbling and another voice came on, saying “Good evening. This is the manager, how many I help you?”

6b. They don’t know how to handle problems

I hate it when people pass you to their manager without telling you they’re going to, and seemingly without telling their manager what’s going on either. I don’t want to have to repeat myself to several people without knowing why. I hate it even more when the manager then lies to you because they don’t realise that the original person has already told you the truth. In this case the manager attempted to explain that they were having “technical difficulties” and the order had only just come through. And so she did probably the only thing that she’d been trained to do, and offered the food for free. At least I got to give my “no onions” instruction!

They may know how to do delivery on-time, but Domino’s certainly haven’t got to grips with this whole e-business thing.